The kiddo likes being at Dad's house better. I was informed of that yesterday. We had been joking earlier in the day about my house having more rules, which I of course know to be true, and am fine with. One of the biggest challenges in my marriage was navigating differences in parenting styles (to put it as diplomatically as possible).
But later in the evening yesterday, I was told it was just more of a general feeling, the preference for being there. I decided not to press for more detail, but I was a bit heartbroken to hear that. And I'm trying very hard not to take it personally. I know our set-up right now is not ideal, with half of the house being unusable, so I'm telling myself that maybe that's part of it. And of course kiddo's allowed their own opinions. Part of me just wishes I understood exactly what it was about being at Dad's that's better.
And who knows, maybe in February when my ex's fiancé moves in with him, things will be different. Maybe kiddo will like it even more over there, and want to spend more time there. I think that's the main thing that's bothering me...the thought that some day, kiddo might decide he doesn't want to live with me at all. I need to remind myself that my brain tends to go into this 'all or nothing' thinking, and that I need to bring myself back to the present moment and take things one day at a time. It's no use worrying about what might happen in the future. No one knows how it's all going to play out. So all I can focus on right now is doing the best I can, for the two of us.
