I've been on dates with five guys since my ex-husband and I split up. Four of the five were first dates only, and I think with the fifth there were three dates.
The advice EVERYone, and I mean everyone, has given me, is to find someone I can "just have fun with." The problem is, that's not me. Like, at all. Sure, I want to have fun, meet new people, all of that...BUT, I'm not a casual dater, never have been, and I know myself well enough to know I never will be comfortable with that.
The other weird thing that people have done is say things like "ugh, to have to get naked in front of someone new!" or "Yeah, I can't even imagine having to try and date now"...I mean, hello! I'm right here! I'm happy for my friends/acquaintences/co-workers who are partnered up, but a lot of the time, they don't think before they speak when it comes to dating.
The truth is, right now, dating is a bit tricky. I'm working my ass off to support myself and my kiddo (who is my WORLD and always will be), and I have a lot going on outside of that (family stuff, house stuff, health stuff, to name a few). Those might sound like excuses, and maybe in part they are. I haven't given up hope that I'll connect with someone great at some point in the future, but in the meantime there's no way in hell I'm gonna just hook up with some rando. No judgement, of course - everyone is entitled to do what they want to do, what they are comfortable with. I just know that for me, that's not the route I want to go.
I guess it's weird being the divorced woman with mostly coupled friends. No one seems to quite understand, and how could they? It's not their fault, but I guess I just wish the conversations around dating went below the surface of the "you just need to get laid" idea. I know it's probably a hard thing to talk about, and maybe I don't make it easy. Maybe the new year will bring changes in that department.
